Sugar Hill ;)

A Time to Speak

My greatest wish at precisely this moment is to be able to express myself verbally without awkwardness or hesitation.  To be able to speak the exact truth without having to bumble and mumble.  To be able to say unpleasant things in a tactful, honest way...or be able to say them at all, ever.  Maybe it's wrong to admire a fictional character, but Jane Austen's Elizabeth Bennet is a paradigm in the gift of eloquent speech. 

I was reading through Ecclesiastes a few weeks ago, and the line that I most reflected on was, "a time to keep silence and a time to speak".  Every day I choose or feel constrained to keep silent about many things which maybe I shouldn't.  The first barrier to following this suggestion totally is the challenge of knowing which option is best at any particular moment.  This is what I struggle with.  Should I ask a question?  Will they think I'm stupid?  Do they already know this?  Is what I want to say relevant?  Is it a given?  Will they say, "well, duh"?  Is it important enough to risk speaking out?  What will they think of me?

I realize that the real problem is my tendency to worry too much about what others will think of my words.  I have been contemplating Quaker theology for the past several months.  One of their testimonies is Ingegrity, which as I understand it involves being truthful and plain in all aspects of life including speech.  Historically many Quakers have taken to plain speech in which they choose not to use hyperbole, sarcasm, metaphors and such because those techniques cause the speaker to say things that are not forthright or technically truthful, even if they could be understood by the listener.  I don't have anything against the above sentence flourishes, but I feel the need to be more truthful in the way of speaking precisely what I'm actually thinking.  Not masking my ignorance about something, not laughing at a joke that I don't get or don't think is funny just to make the teller feel better.  Not hide my true feelings about a given topic based on what I think the other person wants to hear. 

Seems like a tall order, but something worth working on.  I've always been a woman of few words (as long as you don't ask my husband).  Maybe it's finally time to try sowing some new seeds in my life and see what springs forth.

Old Molly Hare

Here is my rendition of Old Molly Hare complete with hammer-ons, pull-offs, double thumb, and drop thumb.  My very first extra-thumb action!